literature

Too Nice

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KosaNoKoibito's avatar
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Literature Text

I'm too nice.

Really, I am.

If you don't believe me, then let me tell you some stories.

I had a boyfriend for three years. When I needed his support, he knocked me over. I stayed his. When I cried, he made me cry harder. I stayed his. Finally, when he started sexually harassing me, I thought about leaving him. It took me two months to decide to do it, and another couple of weeks before I did.

You know what? I felt guilty.

A had a friend last year. She roughhoused with my other friends, and they didn't like it. I stood up for her. She made fun of them. I stood up for her. When I needed her support, she didn't give it to me. I still stayed by her side. Only when she started harassing me for cracking under stress did I tell her off.

You know what? I STILL feel guilty.

I feel guilty about both of them. I know, it's what I needed to do to continue my life in a healthy way. But I still feel pity and guilt for them. Why? I'm too nice.

Now, I'm in a similar situation. She's been my best friend for years. However, over the past year, it seems like she brings me more stress than laughs. We've slipped away from each other, and I've started to grow up. She still acts about the same. My boyfriend's getting worried. Again. Because this isn't the first time. It is, however, the first time I'm wondering: Has she crossed that line?

Has it gotten to the point where being her friend is doing me more harm than help?
Can I make this decision a third time?
I don't know.

Why?
My simple conclusion is this:
I'm too damn nice.
Yeah... Sad to think I'm considering letting go of a friend. I hate it.
© 2011 - 2024 KosaNoKoibito
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